David's Engagement

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(This was the speech and poem John gave at Holly and David's wedding)

As you're probably aware by now, I'm the father of the groom.  What you may not know, unless you've been in my situation, is that the father of the groom is sort of the forgotten person at a wedding.  The bride's parents have plenty to do--they're giving the wedding.  And the groom's mother seems to have kept herself pretty busy the past few months also.

Stephie told me I only had three responsibilities and I'd damn well better do them right:

First, I had to be sure that the checking account was replenished whenever necessary.

Second, I was instructed to be supportive and understanding of Stephie if she ever became anxious or nervous about the wedding.

And finally, I was to emcee the rehearsal dinner.

That's all I had to do!

Only Stephie and I know how well I did the first two, and I'm sure not telling.  But if I screw up on the third one, everyone here will know, and that's what you'll remember.

With these thoughts in mind, I sat down to organize my thoughts, and this is what came out of my computer.

David -- there are a lot of people here who have been asking how you and Holly met, and a little bit of the history of your romance, so I thought I'd tell it from a parent's point of view.  I was going to have your mother censor this, but she's been too busy.  I'm sure she'll tell me tomorrow if anything should be left out.

The Poem:

I sit at my desk
Worried and harried
I never before
Had a son getting married

I have so little to do
That what I do must be a winner
And I must emcee
At the rehearsal dinner

Should the mood be cheerful
And happy and jolly
Should we make fun of David
And try to tease Holly?

Or should dignity and
Solemnity fill the room
As we honor the soon-to-be bride
And her soon-to-be-groom

Should I make introductions
Suppose I forget someone's name
If anything goes wrong
I'm sure I'll be to blame

Should I make a long speech
Or do something in verse
My speeches are bad
But my poetry's worse

Should the toasts be slightly raunchy
Or a great deal cleaner
When sitting right in front of me
Is Rabbi Martin Weiner?

And am I allowed to exercise
My emcee's power
If someone's toast rambles on
For half an hour?

Four years and ten months ago
I sent you off to college
Hoping you would gain some wisdom
Or at least a little knowledge.

You started with a weeklong wilderness program
As part of your orientation
This was very definitely a coed trip
Though you didn't give me that information

A few months later I visited you at school
And there in your dormitory
I met a number of your friends
And learned a little more of the story

"This is Holly from my wilderness trip
She's another of my friends."
Well David, all of us in this room
Know that's not where this story ends!

Friendship blossomed into romance
And you became Holly's suitor
Those who know you, know she was something special
To lure you away from your computer.

The romance continued, the closeness grew
Through bright and stormy weather
And then one day you told us
You were going to live together.

Now I'm no prude -- I could adjust
My ideas are not that much outdated
I only wish when I was courting your mother
She had been that liberated.

You've traveled together across the country

And sometimes kept your smiles
As you visited each other's relatives
And drove over twelve thousand miles.

Now I've taken trips like that also
And there's one thing of which I'm sure
If your love survived that trip
Your love is meant to endure.

David, I've watched you grow from a baby
You've filled my heard with pride
Now it's the night before the wedding
With the woman you love by your side.

With a warm and caring love,
You and Holly are blessed
And with all my heard and soul
I wish you the very best.